Demons (An AU Nathan Gardner Story)
by Fictional Downey
Summary: So...I have a bit of a block with my "mainstream" Nathan/Sydney fic, so I've decided to post a little something I did a while back. When I first heard the song "Demons" I thought of Nathan...then I thought about what might have happened if he and Sydney met under COMPLETELY different circumstances. Nathan's still drinking and Sydney's a bit more broken... Lots of adult situations
1. Demons

Friday night in mid, unseasonably warm October. Right now there were high school footballs games being played, couples on dates, husbands and wives playing with their children…but Nathan was seated at a bar, his second scotch in hand. This wasn't Nathan's usual haunt, but he had stupidly agreed to go out with a couple of casual friends and this was where the night led him. They told him he needed to "get out there" – he hated that phrase – as well as celebrate getting his old job back. Steven and Jeff were actually out on the small dance floor trying desperately to flirt with a group of women. Nathan just shook his head and looked back down into his glass.

He had tried so hard to stop drinking after the fiasco with Charlie, but he was weak. With his ex-wife still riding his back and the superintendent unhappy about his reinstatement as a teacher, he wasn't in the mood to try and "fix himself." He had just set the empty tumbler down when he heard the barstool next to him move. He sighed, hoping it wasn't some chatty creeper who struck out with the women present in the bar.

"Tequila," a voice, very much not male, said. "Coconut if you have it…and pineapple juice."

"In it?" the bartender asked.

"No, chaser. I know, it's girly." After a moment Nathan, who was only looking at the wooden bar top, saw two shot glasses placed next to him. "Thank you," the woman said. He watched her manicured hand lift the glass with the tequila, then the one with the pineapple juice. She nearly slammed them down when she was finished. "Well, that's a start," she said to herself.

Nathan looked up at her, curiosity getting the best of him. He began to wish for the chatty creeper. The woman was brunette with dark eyes and berry stained lips. She had heavy bangs, a neat ponytail, and was clearly going for some type of "rocker" look with her dark smoky eye makeup. Late twenties or early thirties he guessed…and she realized he was looking at her.

"Are you going to say something or just keep looking?" she asked, somewhat amused.

"Ah, sorry," he stammered. "Didn't mean…sorry." He waved for the bartender. "Same."

"Amaretto sour," she said quickly, not wanting the bartender to leave without getting her something else. They were served at the same time and when she took her drink she looked at Nathan. "See ya." He tried not to, but he watched as she walked away. She was in a little black dress, a generously low cut one that hugged her curves, and black heels.

The establishment wasn't the small quiet bar Nathan was used to, but it wasn't like one of the downtown clubs either. It fell somewhere in between. It was crowded and loud, people were dancing and carrying on, but Nathan was able to keep to himself…especially since his so-called "friends" had forgotten about him. As long as he could drink, he was fine.

An hour passed and the woman once again wound up beside him. "If you're not going to move from this stool, you're doing a shot with me."

"Uh, no, I'm good," Nathan said, completely avoiding eye contact with her.

She pushed herself into his line of sight, wanting to get a better look at him in the dim light. "I don't think so," she said, obviously tipsy. "Two…cherry tootsie pops!" she said, holding her hand up in the air. A minute or so later, there was a shot in front of each of them. "When a woman buys you a drink, it's only polite to take it." She nudged the shot glass closer to him and he took it…reluctantly. She smiled at him and he felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards…this caused her to smile wider. "That's what I thought." She held up her glass and he clinked his own against it. "To a less lonely night," she said with a wink. They both downed the shot and put their glasses down.

"That actually tasted like…"

"Like being a kid, right?" She put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm Sydney. Dance with me."

"I need a lot more to drink before I can even start to think about that."

"I can arrange that…" She looked at him, waiting for a name.

He shook his head. "Nathan."

"That's not a bar name…I like that."

"Not a bar name? What does that mean?"

Sydney giggled. "It's a girl thing, but it's good…promise." She ordered two more shots and Nathan let himself loosen up a little. "So, why are you drinking all alone on a Friday night, Nathan?"

"I'm not alone…exactly." He looked out at the dance floor. "My 'friends' are…" He shook his head. "…trying too hard. Meanwhile, same question to you."

"I'm not alone either…your friends seem to be attempting to hit on mine." She sat, fumbling a little, on the stool next to Nathan's once again. "Girls' night," she said sarcastically. "They sorta forced me."

"Me too, but, uh, guys' night or…something like that."

Sydney took a long, deep breath, then turned her whole body toward Nathan's. The music changed to a song she loved and she gave him the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. "We could be miserable together…out there."

"Look, uh…" He struggled to remember her name for a moment. "…Sydney. I really don't think…"

"Exactly! Let's not think." She grabbed his hand. "Neither of us want to be here, we've both had enough to drink to make this plausible…pretty please?"

He shrugged, then looked at his friends. They were trying to dance with the women around them, while this very attractive woman was begging for him to do the same. If anything, maybe this would get them off his back. "Okay." Sydney beamed as she took his arm and all but dragged him out into the crowd.

"I'm a terrible dancer," she laughed. "Fair warning." She stumbled a bit, trying to dance on her own and Nathan watched her, barely moving his feet. Without warning, Sydney flung her arms around his neck and her dancing style changed. Nathan didn't even realize he was putting his arms around her until he felt his body pressing against hers. "Mmm…" He could barely hear her above the music, but the sound was there. She ran her hands along his arms. "Strong," she said with a coy smile. "You don't dress how you're built, do you?"

"I don't put much thought into it," he answered honestly. He was in a rumbled button down shirt, his tie crooked, and pants that were about a size too big.

"Good thing you're hot then," she added, her finger tracing his jaw line. Nathan blushed instantly. She giggled. "Like you don't know it." She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them he looked…nervous.

"I…"

"Not hit on much?"

"Not hit on ever." He inhaled her perfume, light with a strange hint of chocolate. He didn't mean for it to happen, but his body reacted. What could have been the highest form of embarrassment was overlooked as Sydney's lips found his. It was closed mouthed and quick, but it was enough to make him start to let some lines blur.

"Let's remedy that, hm?" She pulled him off the dance floor and back to the bar. A few shots later and he was losing the remaining tenseness in his muscles. "My fiancé dumped me for a man," Sydney confessed. They had moved to a table and she was sitting on his lap, nuzzling his neck. His hand was on her backside. "The 'new boyfriend' left me a couple of days ago…well, sort of…" Her tongue circled his ear.

"Assholes," Nathan said, his eyes half closed as he enjoyed the feelings running through him. "My ex-wife slept with anything that had a pulse…"

"Bitch." She moved her hands to his face and looked at him. "I know how you want to kiss me…you should just do it."

"Yeah?"

She licked at her upper lip. "Yeah…" Her word was swallowed as Nathan kissed her, his tongue searching out hers. Without breaking the kiss, she moved her body so she straddled him, grinding against his growing erection. She moaned into his whiskey soaked mouth, her body aching with want, then broke the kiss and rose from his lap. She saw the look on his face and bent down to kiss him again. "Just need…little girls room…" She winked and steadied herself as she walked to the restrooms. When she returned, she grabbed his tie, pulling him up from his seat. "Dance," she said. This time she didn't have to ask twice.

They shamelessly ground against one another to the beat of the music. Nathan's hands were curious and Sydney didn't bat them away…hers were just as curious as his. Both sets of friends noticed them and laughed it off as drunken fun, which it most certainly was…for a while.

"I haven't…no fun for…" It wasn't the alcohol affecting Nathan's words, it was Sydney's fingers running along his waistband.

"I'm gonna offer you something men would kill for," Sydney said in his ear.

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"I got something from the…vending machine in the bathroom…"

Nathan knew what she meant immediately and he became rock hard. He hadn't felt like this in years…he wanted the contact so much it hurt. "Not nice to tease."

"Not teasing," Sydney purred. "No last names, no phone numbers…I could care less what you make a year or even if you're a fucking serial killer." She kissed him, slow and wet. "Have you ever slept with a stranger from a bar?" He shook his head. "Me either…and I want to."

"I…"

"Don't tell me you don't want to feel good for a night…"

"I do," he growled, unable to help himself.

"You've been hard a few times tonight, Nathan…"

"Have you been wet?" He couldn't believe those words passed from his lips. She guided his hand under the hem of her dress, nobody noticing them. "Fuck," he breathed, feeling the answer to her question. He stumbled for a moment, unsure if it was due to the alcohol or his awakened hormones.

"No strings." She stroked him through his pants.

"Where?"

The tone in her voice was desperate and needy. "It doesn't matter…" She kissed him once more and grabbed his erection as she did so. "I'm betting it's been a while, hm?" He nodded, his eyes closed and his head tipped back. "Might not last if we don't…" The ill fitting pants were a great help as Sydney's hand dipped below the waistband, beyond his boxers, and found his bare length. His body shuddered and his breath hitched. "Poor baby," she cooed.

Nathan's hand went back under her dress. "And you?"

"He was gone for a couple of months before he ended…" She gasped as he stroked the damp satin between her legs. "…it."

Nathan pulled her closer, still moving enough to look like they were dancing. He put his lips next to her ear and breathed, "I want to touch you."

"You are."

"I want to _feel_ you."

Sydney pulled back just a little so she could look him in the eye. "I'm not saying 'no' am I?" It was all Nathan needed to hear. Her soft hand still stroking him, he pushed her panties aside and slid a finger inside her. "Fuck," she panted.

He bit at his lips as they remained in the crowd, their hands working one another into a frenzy. "If you don't stop I'm gonna…"

"That's the point." She licked his neck. "Quick mess now means a longer time with me later."

"Christ…you're so…ah…" He felt a surge of new moisture on his finger and he knew he'd made her come…he followed suit, not caring where the mess went.

"Good boy," Sydney whispered, her cheeks glowing. "I've got it, baby." She slyly removed her hand and went to the restroom again. Nathan worried she wouldn't come back.

After a few minutes, he went back to the bar, convinced she had, indeed, left. "'Nother," he slurred, his body as light as his head. He hadn't even bothered touching himself for longer than he could remember and tonight…a complete stranger got him off in a crowd of a hundred or so people. "Hallucinating?" he asked himself as yet another tumbler appeared before him.

"I was real last time I checked," Sydney said, wrapping her arms around him from behind. She kissed the side of his neck. "Feel good?"

Nathan turned on the stool and took her into his arms, kissing her unabashedly. His tongue sought out all it could and his hands wandered her back. "Who are you?" he asked.

Sydney shook her head. "I told you. I'm Sydney." He wasn't going to get any more from her. "We're two lonely people on a night out neither of us wanted…" She smiled. "We're one another's future good memories with no regrets."

"This…this doesn't happen," he said. "Happens in movies and, well, pornos and shit…" Sydney laughed. "…but real life?"

"Changing your mind?"

"No!" he said far too eagerly.

"Good." She took his hand and led him back to where they were before so she could sit on his lap again. "I want you to tell me what you wanna to do me."

"What?"

"We've both had plenty to shut our filters off…" She nuzzled into his neck again, lightly nipping at his flesh. "What are you thinking about doing to me right now?" She sucked his earlobe. "Be dirty, baby." She felt the muscles in his chest tighten for a moment.

"I…" Drunk as he was, he just couldn't.

"Please, baby," Sydney purred. She was trying to use his name as little as possible; it kept things more anonymous. "Every dirty little thing you've wanted since your ex did what she did…tell me."

"I wanna bury my cock inside you," he confessed, unable to stop. Sydney was right, the filters were off. "I want to fuck you…I want to make you come all over me…" He was kissing her chest, his tongue dipping into her cleavage. "I want you to clench around me and make me…"

"Make you what?"

"I wanna fucking explode," he growled.

Satisfied, she rose from his lap and grabbed his arm. They went out the front door of the bar and were immediately illuminated by the streetlight. "Jesus, you're fucking gorgeous," Sydney all but moaned. "In there yeah, but…fuck, Nathan…" He blushed, thinking the same of her, but also thinking she was putting him on. "You don't believe me." She saw the few lines around his eyes, the traces of gray in his hair and stubble…and it made her knees weak. "You're in your prime." He smiled at her and that was it. "Do that…do that a lot more." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again, heat and want flooding her body.

"You're beautiful," he breathed. "I can't…fuck, I…"

"Oh, yes you can, Nathan…" She looked around and smiled. "Back here." She led him to side of the building. The bar was in a nice enough area that it wasn't a typical "dirty" alleyway, just a throughway between buildings…with a fence to keep anyone from seeing them. There was one dim light above them and she saw doubt in his eyes for a moment.

He pressed her body to the brick wall with gentle force. "Why me?" he asked, his voice raspy with want and tainted by confusion. "All the guys in there, all the younger, better looking…"

Sydney put her finger to his lips. "First of all, I repeat, you're gorgeous. Younger men are a pain in the ass…" Her body trembled for a dozen different reasons. "…and you looked broken."

"You've no idea," he whispered.

"Two broken people…" She rubbed his back as he began to place hot, wet kisses along her neck…he found a spot between her neck and shoulder that always made her back arch and she pressed into him. "…they should be able to fix something for a bit when put together, don't you think?"

"Never thought of…" He kissed her lips, chaste at first. "…it that way.." His kisses deepened and Sydney moaned softly into his mouth. "Tell me you want me," he whispered, needing to hear it, needing to know this was real.

"I want you," she said surely. "Moment I saw you…crazy…stupid…"

"No…" He reached up under her dress to stroke her again…he found no barrier in the way.

"In my purse," she whispered. "So's…" Nathan understood and backed off, letting her bend and rifle through her small black bag. She pulled out the foil packet and reached for his belt. They could hear the music from inside the bar as she released his length out into the unseasonable air.

_When the days are cold…and the cards all fold…and the saints we see…are all made of gold…_

She couldn't help but smile when she looked down. "Knew what I felt was good."

_When your dreams all fail…and the ones we hail…are the worst of all…and the blood's run stale…_

He gasped as she sheathed him, even that act feeling better than anything had in years. She looked at him with full, parted lips and could see that he needed just one more nudge. She couldn't believe what this night had turned into. "It's okay, baby," she cooed, stroking his face. "Fill me. We're not making love here, no need to…be formal or anything." Nathan took her left leg and hiked it onto his hip. He ran his length along her folds for a moment, giving her the chance to change her mind. "Fuck me," she whispered.

_I want to hide the truth…I want to shelter you…but with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide…_

Nathan slid himself inside her body and let out a low growl. He immediately

claimed her lips as he reached for her other leg and wrapped them both around his waist. "Christ," he breathed, coming up for air.

"Talk to me," she begged. "Tell me…" She wanted to hear every dirty thing he had to say to her.

_No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed…This is my kingdom come…This is my kingdom come…_

"So fucking tight," he grunted. "So wet…warm…" He had put his arms between her back and the brick wall, not wanting to hurt her. "Fuck, Syd," he cried…and she hated how he'd just said her name…like he knew her…like he could have cared for her.

"Harder," Sydney panted, wanting to break the brief spell she was under. "Your cock feels so good, baby…so hard, so big…" She got what she wanted as Nathan's thrusts increased. He held her close to him and she felt how strong he really was. The air was sobering, but her mind didn't change. Nathan looked into her eyes, he was beginning to sober as well, but his pace stayed strong, enjoying every bit of pleasure coursing thorough his body.

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes…It's where my demons hide…It's where my demons hide…Don't get too close, it's dark inside…it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide…_

"You feel so good," he whispered in her ear. "Will you come for me?"

_When the curtain's call is the last of all…When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl…So they dug your grave and the masquerade…Will come calling out at the mess you made…_

"Yes," she whined, her body tensing. She bit on his shoulder to muffle herself and Nathan groaned as her walls clenched around him. "Fuck…fuck yes…Nathan…" She regretted saying his name.

"Say my name again, baby…come on me again…"

_Don't want to let you down, but I am hell bound…Though this is all for you, don't want to hide the truth…No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed…This is my kingdom come…This is my kingdom come…_

He rolled his hips, thrusting deeper within her and she did as he asked, calling out his name, knowing she shouldn't, but wanting to all the same. "So good, Nathan…so...fucking…good…"

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes…It's where my demons hide…It's where my demons hide…Don't get too close, it's dark inside…It's where my demons hide…It's where my demons hide…_

She tightened around him again and he couldn't stop what was running through him. He kissed her, desperate for the contact, and spilled himself. "Sydney," he cried into her neck. Nathan thrust once more as his body convulsed with sheer pleasure. He said nothing else as he slid from her body and placed her feet back on the ground. They could still hear the commotion inside the bar, but it sounded worlds away. "I…"

Sydney smiled. "I know." She smoothed out her dress and picked up her purse. He took her hand and they made their way back to the front of the building.

"Staying?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so." She looked at the ground. "I don't think they'll miss me…I'll just…get a cab and…"

_They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate…It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go…  
_  
"Let me," Nathan said. He hailed the cab that was coming down the street.

_Your eyes, they shine so bright…I want to save their light…I can't escape this now…Unless you show me how…_

The cab stopped and Sydney opened the door. "Thank you," she said, "for the cab and…well…" She looked at him, blushing. "I said no strings, but…" Nathan's heart began to race. She put her arms around him and her lips to his ear. "…would you mind if I named my toy after you?" Nathan's eyes went wide. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm not."

"I'm not…I think I'm flattered."

"You should be…that was…" She stopped herself. "Screw it, we'll never see each other again. Nathan, you gave me the best orgasm of my life." She kissed him and he reciprocated, heat beginning to rise between them again. She pulled back. "Get home safe." She got into the cab and he watched it take her away.

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes…It's where my demons hide…It's where my demons hide…Don't get too close, it's dark inside…It's where my demons hide…It's where my demons hide…_

**_*Demons - Imagine Dragons*_**


	2. Hangovers

The following morning, Sydney was splayed across her couch, her dress…not hiding a thing. She lived with her best friend and that's how he found her. After pulling the hem of her dress down, he shook her shoulder gently.

"Syd, honey…" Nothing. "Sydney," he repeated, almost singing her name. Still nothing. Wanting to know exactly why she was in the position she was, he gave up on being gentle. "Sydney Turner!" he yelled.

Sydney shot up, her eyes red when she opened them. "Arlen? What the hell is…" She looked around and saw that she hadn't made it to her bedroom. "Shit," she groaned.

"Girls' night," Arlen said, an eyebrow raised. "That now involves coming home sans panties?"

"They're in my purse," she answered to quickly. Then the night came flooding back to her.

"You…little…what did you _**do**_ last night?"

She smiled, her head aching. "A gorgeous stranger – and before you yell, I was safe."

"Last time I checked 'stranger' wasn't safe, Syd." He was mothering her, as he always did.

Sydney crossed her arms. "John technically left me months ago, Arlen, I've been a little needy, plastic wasn't cutting it…and I'd do it again, as long as he was involved."

"That hot, huh?" His mothering had turned to curiosity.

"Mmm…shower first, details later…"

Nathan made it to his bedroom, but not much further than that. Still fully dressed, he was passed out on his stomach across the worn comforter of his bed. His feet dangled over the edge, shoes still on. He groaned into his mattress, then heard a voice in the room.

"You've gotta be kidding me, Dad." The voice belonged to his daughter, Susan. It wasn't mad, it wasn't curious…it was disappointed. "So much for trying, huh?"

Nathan rolled over, then sat up. He rubbed at his temples as Susan came into focus. "The guys, they…"

"Seriously?" she interrupted. "You're a bit old for peer pressure." She took a step closer, eyeing him. When she finally understood what she was seeing, she looked…confused. "Tell me it wasn't a hooker."

"What? Susan, I…"

"You've binged before, Dad, but you've never come home covered in lipstick…you don't even date!"

"Hooker, really? You've lost _that_ much respect for me?"

Susan shrugged. "I can only go by what I see. I'm going to Charlie's," she said, sadly. She looked back at him at she exited his room. "You might want to remember that you start your job on Monday."

He waited until he heard her go out the front door before he moved. His muscles ached as much as his head as he made his way to the bathroom. It took everything he had to look at himself in the mirror. Red-rimmed eyes, hair sticking every which way…and smudges of berry colored lipstick along his neck, his jaw, and around his mouth. He closed his eyes and for a second felt himself inside of his first one night stand in over twenty years. "Couldn't have been a hooker," he mumbled.


	3. I Need a Favor

Monday morning found Nathan back in his old classroom. He didn't exactly care what happened to the previous teacher - something about running off to his sister's in Oregon - all that mattered was he wasn't unemployed and he was back to doing something he knew he was good at. He'd take whatever the students and faculty dealt out to him for the first few days, but knew it would wind down and interest in his firing would no longer be a hot topic.

He wasn't seated at his desk for more than five minutes before his phone rang. He sighed and answered, the screen telling him it was the new principal (and an old friend), Joe Hawkins, calling him. "Yeah, boss?" he asked, sounding tired.

"Nate, I need a huge favor from you." The man sounded frantic. "I'm sending Fran's sub for the rest of the year to your room…"

"You're doing _what_?"

"You need to look good, she needs a mentor, and I need to _not_ look like a complete asshole. Just show her the ropes, answer her questions…"

"It's my first day back, Joe…"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"Really? You're gonna make it up to me? Is it that bad? Is she some former retired teacher or fresh out of school, wide-eyed and completely ignorant to what this career really entails?"

Joe groaned. "Neither. Nate, I know you're bitter about everything right now, but calm the attitude, huh? I did you a huge favor getting you your old job back…"

Nathan sighed, embarrassed. "I know, I'm sorry…"

"Come down and talk to me later, okay? She's going to be there any second."

As Joe was talking, Nathan had turned in his seat. Indeed, a female had appeared in his doorway. "Yeah, I see that. I'll be down later." He tried to hang up the phone, but wasn't looking and missed the phone's base. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open.

The woman's bag hit the floor. "This is…awkward."

"S…Sydney?"

Sydney's face was nearly crimson. "So much for no last names or professions, 'Mister Gardner.'" She looked around for a second. "Shit…"

"Shit?" he asked, completely unsure of how to process the current situation.

"Well…yeah, I mean…this is bad isn't it? You're kinda in charge of me and…oh, god…" Her hand went to her mouth. "You sort of have a raging hard on right now."

Nathan was in enough shock that he hadn't even realized what his body was doing. He looked down and his face went red as well. He didn't try to cover it up, what was the point? "Sorry, I…"

Sydney laughed, sounding nervous. She looked at him for a second. He was clean-shaven, his hair neat, and his clothes certainly fit better than what she'd seen on Friday night. He was wearing glasses, which she always found incredibly sexy on a man…and these frames suited him wonderfully. Black and squared off, they made his eyes look even more gorgeous than they were outside the bar. "Yeah well…I'm pretty sure I need to change my underwear."

Nathan choked on his breath. "Christ…"

She looked at his crotch. "Really? Words versus _that_, I'm pretty sure you win." She paced for a second and Nathan watched her. She was dressed in a gray pencil skirt and red v-necked sweater. She was wearing heels again, but nothing like the ones from Friday night. Her hair was down and partially pulled back, curled at the ends and her make-up was much more subdued. Nathan found that she somehow looked even more alluring this way. "I'm not a whore," she whispered, now standing in front of his desk.

"What?"

"I don't do things like that…ever! I've only ever slept with men I've been in a relationship with, I've never once picked up a guy at a bar…"

_Knew she wasn't a hooker…_ "Look, that was my first, uh…encounter? Is that even the right word…"

"We got one another off on a crowded dance floor and fucked against a building." She said this more to herself then him. "Now you're my…" She looked at him. "Is this bad? Am I going to lose this job? Are…"

Nathan's erection under control, he got up from his seat and circled around the desk to her. "Nobody needs to know," he said softly, trying to calm her. "My only job is to guide you through things, I can't tell them anything other than if you're doing your job. I can't even say _how_ you're doing because it's a reflection on me." He had the most terrible urge to touch her, but he fought against it.

"So…we act like nothing…" She could smell his cologne and it was killing her. "…happened."

He nodded slowly. "I…I guess so?"

"Okay…" She went to move, but his hand was on her arm. He was looking at her over the top of his glasses and she felt a surge of moisture between her legs. "I don't think that's gonna work," she whispered, moving her face closer to his.

"Definitely not." He kissed her, his hand going to her neck, under her hair. He pulled back for a moment. "I think we might be in some trouble."

"Uh huh…" She went back to his lips, but the first bell of the morning sounded and they parted. "This is going to be interesting."

"Just had to wake up my dormant hormones, didn't you?" he asked, trying to sound mad.

She smiled and walked back to where she dropped her bag. "Just walk me across the hall and get me started, hm?"

"Pretty sure I may have already done that."


	4. Planning Period

Once lunchtime rolled around, Nathan made his way across the hall to Sydney's room. She was at her desk, very uninterested in her sandwich. "Hey," he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

She looked up at him and licked her lips without realizing she was doing so. "Yeah, so…this isn't going to work."

He shut the door behind him; it was nothing uncommon for teachers here to meet behind closed doors, especially at this time of the day. Different groups of teachers always lunched together, gossiping about students or going over curriculum…but usually gossiping. "No? Why not?"

"Because I can't stop thinking about the guy across the hall holding me up against a wall and…"

Nathan sat on the corner of her desk, smiling. "And what?" He saw the look in her eye, the memory of pleasure working its way onto her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I've been going over this in my head all morning."

"And what conclusion have you come to?" She got up, drawn to him.

"Why fight it?"

Sydney tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "We've done _plenty_ in the very short time we've known one another, but fighting…"

"No, baby," he said casually, testing what he'd thought about all morning. He abandoned the edge of the desk and walked toward her, slowly backing her up against the chalkboard. "Why fight what we both felt this morning?" He put a hand against the chalkboard, next to her face, the act almost domineering and incredibly sexy.

"Wh…what about here?" she breathed.

"I'll help you with things here…we can help one another…"

Sydney's eyes went wide. "You think…you think we can just, what, work together during the day and start fucking at night?" She tried to sound appalled, but he saw through it.

He put his lips as close to hers as he could without touching them. "Tell me you don't want to fuck me again and I'll drop the idea."

"I'm not looking for a relationship."

"I'm not either, I have too much baggage, but you avoided what I asked you to tell me."

Her hand reached out and she stroked his thigh. "I think I'd kill to have you inside me right now," she whispered, her chest tight.

He licked his lips, slowly and with purpose. "You still want me even though I'm not the stranger in the bar anymore? Even though you know I'm nothing more than a high school history teacher?"

She smiled. "He asks of the high school English teacher." She leaned forward, taking his lips. Her tongue slid along his and she moaned, unabashed, into his mouth. Her hand slid between them, finding him hard, and she stroked him. "I want to taste you," she whispered before quickly snapping back to reality. "Fuck, Nathan, you know we're asking for trouble, right?"

He smirked. "I'll make it worse," he said, his hips rolling. "I just got fired as principal here a few weeks ago. I'm on probation and mentoring you is supposed to make me look good."

Sydney pulled her hand back and wriggled away from him. "_**What**_?" Her breath became shallow and she grew dizzy. She stumbled until she found her chair. "Jesus, Nathan, you could have brought that up before…"

"Before what? Does it change anything?" He knelt in front of her. "Sydney, until Friday, I hadn't had sex in…" He was embarrassed, but pushed it aside. His words came quick and hushed. "Fuck it, I hadn't had sex in over five years. You were right, I'm broken and beyond any possibility of repair. I have trust issues and an affinity for drowning my sorry ass life in scotch." His hands caressed the backs of her calves. "But you and I…Sydney, you…you woke up some part of my brain, my body, that's been sleeping my entire adult life. I feel like I'm turning into a different person." He kissed her knee. "I think it's pretty clear that the sexual attraction here is…"

"Insane," she said, shivering at his touch. "_We_ are insane, this isn't real or right or…"

He hiked up her skirt and kissed the inside of her thigh. "I haven't gone down on a woman since college," he purred, interrupting her. "I bet you taste amazing."

Sydney placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. "I've known you less than a day in total."

"Point?"

"Don't remember." She shook her head, trying to will away how badly she wanted the man on his knees in front of her. "So, we're just going to be…coworkers that fuck?"

"Why not?"

Sydney thought for a moment. Traditional relationships certainly hadn't worked out for her and there was no doubt at all that she was insanely attracted to this man. The school year would end in just over six months…what was the harm in having a rewarding sex life for that time? "Still no strings," she said firmly.

"No strings." He moved his body up along hers and found her lips. "This job gets…stressful. We can call it therapy."

"Sure." She grabbed his tie, pulling him closer…she had a feeling she'd be doing that often. "Therapy…" She kissed him again, hungry. "When the hell are we having our next session?"

Nathan moved his lips to her neck, he knew this was one of the worst ideas he ever had in his life, but the truth of the matter was that he didn't care. He wanted pleasure for himself and she was willing to indulge him. "Give me your number and I'll text you later today." He watched her hand tremble as she wrote those seven little digits on a green Post It. "Oh, and how are the kids?"

"So far so good."

He kissed her one last time before standing back up and willing away the problem in his pants. "For the record, I am completely aware of how insane this is."

She smiled at him. "Good, I was worried for a minute."

At the end of fifth period, the blue indicator light on Sydney's phone began to blink. She kept both the volume and vibration turned off while in class, so this was the only way she knew she had a text. It was Nathan. The message told her to meet him near the front doors of the building. She got up and started down the hallway. This was her planning period, so she was free for the next forty-five minutes. When she reached the end of the hallway she saw Nathan talking to Joe and could hear the end of their conversation.

"Yeah, I thought I'd show her around the rest of the grounds and where the kids usually stir up trouble."

"Wonderful idea, Nathan," Joe said, smiling. "I'm glad to see your attitude's improved since this morning."

"Well…" He saw Sydney. "Ah, and there she is."

She smiled politely. "Hello," she said to both of them.

Joe spoke up. "Nathan told me that he made you aware of his little 'situation' here, Miss Turner…"

"Oh, Sydney, please."

He nodded. "Sydney. I hope you don't think that…"

"Actually, I'm grateful that we get to help one another out."

"Speaking of which," Nathan said, looking at his watch, "we should get going so we don't run into next period." He opened the door for Sydney and they walked out into the comfortable, fall air.

Once down the front steps of the school and away from all other sets of ears, Sydney looked at Nathan and asked, "So, what are we really doing?"

The corner of his mouth raised into a smirk. "I'm showing you around. Making sure you know all the places the kids like to make trouble."

"Mm hm, and the fact that there isn't another soul out here…"

"I have no idea what you think we're out here for," he said, eyeing her hungrily.

Even though nobody else was around, Sydney lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "I have a feeling that even though it's both of our first days on campus…your leading a lamb to its sexual slaughter."

"Oh, I think you made your desires very clear at lunch…" He spotted the place he wanted to go to. "…and lambs imply innocence…" He took a key from his pocket and unlocked the door to a small building just off of the football field.

"You're kidding me?" she laughed. "You're taking me to an equipment building?"

He opened the door, flicked the light switch on the wall and then shut the door behind them. "I may not have turned in all my keys," he said, putting his hand on her waist.

"Nathan, what if we get caught?"

"Not gonna happen." He went for her neck, his kisses light so he didn't mark her skin. "I know this place too well."

"Ahhh…" She didn't mean for anything to slip from her lips, but she couldn't help herself.

"Like that?" he asked. "You have a sensitive neck don't you?"

"Why ask what you've already figured out?"

He smiled, then took her lips. His kiss was slow and deep and his tongue was seducing hers. He pulled back just a little. "How about something I don't know for sure?"

"Okay," she breathed.

"Before this morning, did you think of me?" She smiled, but didn't answer him. "Oh, baby, you did, didn't you?"

Knowing what he wanted to hear, she was honest. "I told you I was naming it after you…but it wasn't nearly as good." She felt him harden against her thigh.

"Not satisfying?"

"Hm mm…"

"Let me fix that." He looked around and considered their options. He could take her against the wall again, but he hardly wanted to repeat himself. There were mats that could be placed on the floor, but as casual as this was meant to be, he didn't want her to think he thought of her as cheap or dirty…

"Go sit on the bench over there," Sydney said, surveying the space as well. She pointed to a padded bench in the corner, part of a weightlifting set that had been dismantled. He raised an eyebrow. "Trust me." He went to the bench and sat. Sydney straddled him, immediately rubbing against him. "So you know that I thought about you…did you think about me?"

"I got myself off for the first time in years thinking about you," he said without hesitation. He had no idea how one night with this woman could change him so much.

She smiled and left his lap. "Show me what you did."

"What?"

She looked at her watch. "Precious time is ticking away, lover. I want to see."

"Dirty girl." He undid his belt, then the fly of his pants, releasing his erection.

Sydney licked her lips. "Stroke it for me."

He reached down, hesitant only for a moment. At this point he didn't care who was touching him as long as he could get the ending he wanted. His hand moved along his shaft slowly, the tip glistening. Soft moans floated from his lips and Sydney began to tremble with want. He looked up at her. "Little voyeur…"

"Problem with it?"

"No…uhn…"

"Did you bring anything?"

"I might have snuck into the nurse's office. Back pocket." He lifted himself just slightly off of the bench and Sydney groped him while taking the foil packet from his pocket. She tore it open and rolled the condom down his length. A moment later she slid her panties down her legs and hiked up her skirt, not enough for Nathan to see anything, but enough to give her room to spread her legs. She straddled him again, this time letting him slide inside of her. "Ooooh…fuck," he groaned.

"Mmmm…" She had her knees on the bench, using them to move herself at a slow, maddening pace. "Why was I the first girl you fucked in so long?" she asked.

He looked up at her, not sure why it mattered. "No strings," he reminded her.

"That's not the same as no questions," she moaned, pushing herself as far down on him as she could. She forced herself to stay still and she could feel him twitch within her. "Tell me."

"You told me yourself," he said, his forehead beginning to glisten. "I'm broken. Celia left and I didn't see the point."

Sydney moved a little, giving him the friction he wanted. "What changed your mind? Tell me why you fucked me. Tell me why you're letting me fuck you right now?" Sydney felt sexually free and it was freeing up her mind as well. She'd always been so…proper. She was tired of censoring herself and tired of men telling her what they thought she wanted to hear. She wanted to know what this man saw in her that got him excited.

He thrust his hips upward, causing her to gasp. "Honest truth?"

"No reason for lies when we don't have strings."

"You were so fucking hot…" Nathan had been freed as well. "I love curves and that dress you had on…oh, fuck, how can you feel so…un…it made your body look amazing. I wanted you the minute you pressed yourself against me on the dance floor. I hate the rail thin model type…I hate the 'cougars' – that's who usually who tried to hit on me – faster, baby, faster…and today…fucking fantasy on heels…"

Sydney leaned down and kissed him, grateful for his words. No bullshit from a man, it was refreshing and she ground harder against him as a reward. "Nathan," she cried, her walls clenching around him. She mentally kicked herself for using his name.

"That's right, baby, come hard…" His arms were wrapped around her body, holding her tight against him. He tried to fight against it, but he growled and joined her, his release making his head light. After a few moments, Sydney rose from his lap.

"Feel better?" she asked, casually.

"Much." He stood up put himself back into his pants and watched as she slid her panties back up beneath her skirt. Once she stood straight again, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the side of her neck. "I want to see your body," he whispered. Chills flew through her and he actually felt her shiver. "Oh, you like that idea?" He heard her swallow. "My naked body sliding along yours? Both of us panting, sweating…" He reached up her skirt and beneath her panties and used his thumb to stroke her clit. "You want to go again, don't you?"

"Yes," she whimpered.

"Do you want to see me?"

"Your clothes fit better today, makes me more curious."

"Shopped yesterday," he said, stroking her harder. "Felt…empowered after Friday."

"Glad I could…" Her breath caught as he made her body tense and release, then slid two fingers inside her. "…help you," she finished as he calmed her with tender movements.

He removed his fingers and took them into his mouth, still holding her body against his. "Oh, baby," he cooed. "I knew you'd taste good. When you go home tonight, I want you to think about my tongue…fucking you…can you do that for me?" She couldn't form any words, but the sound that came from her was all the assurance he needed. He let her go and looked at his watch. "Ten minutes 'til class."


	5. Score!

They went the next few days without contact…well, without _physical_ contact. Sydney wouldn't deny it if Nathan were to ask if she took care of herself while thinking about him and the same was true for Nathan. The two somehow wound up eating lunch together and actually going over schoolwork without much distraction for three days. He showed her little tips and tricks that would get her through the day with less stress and they were seen together quite often; this made Joe Hawkins incredibly happy. As far as he was concerned, Nathan was taking his responsibilities seriously and his attitude had improved tenfold.

When Friday morning came, Sydney took homeroom attendance and the morning announcements sounded over the intercom system. The last bit of news was about the ticket sales for that evening's football game. As the bell rang and her homeroom class filtered out, her phone lit up with a message from Nathan:

_Good to be seen at the games so I got tickets for us. I want to take you under the bleachers._

Sydney laughed, convinced it was a joke, and replied back with a polite "thank you" - nothing more. Classes went smoothly and when lunchtime rolled around, Nathan appeared in her doorway, eyes bright. He looked…better than he had the last couple of days.

"Hey, sexy," she teased, her voice low. "You look rather well today."

"Mm, I love it when you speak proper English," he teased back. He walked to her desk, smiling at her in a wicked, but alluring, way. "I've had a good couple of days," he said.

"Found someone else to entertain you?" she asked, almost laughing.

He shook his head. "Been sober at night and my daughter isn't hating me right now."

"Very nice," Sydney replied, not fully aware of just how bad his drinking problem was; she thought it was just a casual thing, not any sort of _real_ problem. "So, I'm to be seen out and about around here, huh?"

Nathan nodded, pulling a sandwich from his insulated lunch bag. "Mm hm." He took a bite and swallowed. "Good for both of our images and even better that we be seen there together." He winked at her. "Makes me look really good and makes it that much easier for us to…" He stopped, plopping down on the chair he just placed next to hers.

"For us to?"

"I never asked if you did what I requested the other night. Did you?"

Sydney blushed. "I used the shower head that night. Warm and wet, but not exactly your tongue, was it?"

He smirked, chuckling. "We'll remedy that, I promise." He took another bite of his sandwich. "Oh, and I meant it, you know."

"Meant what?"

"I'm _taking_ you under the bleachers tonight."

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Okay."

"You don't believe me?"

"I just don't see how it's possible and how we wouldn't get fired." His only response was to smile again. They spent the rest of the half hour talking about the first test she was going to give the next week. When it was time to go, Nathan ran his finger along her lower lip…and Sydney sucked it into her mouth.

"Meet me by the gates tonight at six-thirty."

Sydney went home after school and sat on her couch, stomach tumbling excitedly. There was no way they could possibly…oh, but the thought was enough to make her want to run upstairs right then and…

"Honey, you look flush, are you okay?" Arlen was waving his hand in front of her eyes.

"I'm fucking my mentor," she blurted without hesitation. "The guy from the bar…he's the history teacher across the hall from me and…" She bit her lower lip. She had always been able to tell her best friend everything in the world and this was no different. He wouldn't judge, only show concern, but she couldn't keep this to herself.

"Syd…"

"My first day, Monday…we fucked in the equipment building…"

"Syd, do you _hear_ yourself? Do you care about this job at all?"

She looked at Arlen and the confusion in his eyes. She sighed. "Of course I do, but I've had this carrot dangled in front of me half a dozen times. I'm not getting a career from this, so why can't I be rewarded in a different way?"

"Is the sex really worth…"

"Yes," she said, cutting him off. "It's only been twice, but he has me masturbating like a teenage boy." She didn't blush at the comment, this was Arlen…he had walked in on her more than once in their lifelong relationship. "He's gorgeous and…enthusiastic. It's a no strings thing, Arlen, no pain, just mind searing pleasure so far…and I haven't even been naked with him!" She realized how weird that sounded as soon as it left her lips.

"_That_ good?"

She nodded smiling. "That good. Anyway, I've already checked and there are no rules against faculty dating and he has nothing to do with any of my reviews."

Arlen took her hand in his. "Honey, it's not _just_ the job you know…you say 'no strings' but I know you. Are you sure you can keep this strictly sexual?"

"I can't be in a real relationship, Arlen…I can't trust anyone enough right now…and I can't deal with any more rejection." She leaned on his shoulder. "Nathan thinks I'm…" She blushed, thinking about how he called her a "fantasy on heels." "…he likes my curves…"

"Honey, you have old Hollywood curves, of course he likes them…"

"He's broken too…a bad divorce, never trying to date…and so far he's just…" She nearly growled. "He's so damned sexy, and an amazing kisser." She sat back up and looked into his eyes. "He's doing his job too, really helping me along…I need this, Arlen. I just need to be free for a change."

Arlen smiled at her, understanding, but still worrying. "Just be careful, sweetie…and give me all the hot, nasty details."

Sydney smiled back at him fully. "Promise. I've gotta go get ready."

"Ready?"

"High school football game tonight. Apparently those appearances are important." She ran up the stairs. "And I'm supposedly being taken under the bleachers!"

Arlen giggled to himself, thinking she was joking. "That girl…"

A few hours later, Sydney stood in front of the main gate to the football field, waiting for Nathan and her ticket. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail again, albeit a more innocent one than the previous Friday. She was wearing jeans and a light blue t-shirt with a gray and pink hoodie overtop. She was loving the weather, but knew it wouldn't last much longer.

"Look more like a college student than a teacher tonight." Nathan's voice came from behind her. "You even make casual work well on you."

She turned, forcing herself not to smile. Then she saw him. He too wore jeans, but with a burnt orange v-neck sweater, a deep green t-shirt just peeking out at the top. His hair was a little messier than it had been during the day, which added to his appeal. She missed his glasses, but he didn't need them all the time. "Works for you too."

He put his hand on her back and motioned for her to walk forward to the gate. He handed over their tickets with a polite smile and they wandered around the stadium for a bit. Nathan made sure they were seen by board members and other teachers, as well as Joe, but avoided the superintendent like he was the plague.

They wandered around during the first quarter and Nathan bought her hot chocolate at the beginning of the second before they took a seat in the stands for a while. They talked to students and parents, everyone rather delighted by their company and very happy to see Nathan back where he belonged. They shared nachos at halftime and Sydney began to worry that this was starting to feel more like a date. That thought disappeared in the middle of the third quarter.

"I want to be inside you," Nathan whispered in her ear. "I want to make you scream out beneath all these people as you come on my cock."

"Jesus, Nathan," she gasped. "You're serious about this?"

"Come on, baby," he cooed, nobody else hearing him. They got up from the stands and Nathan skillfully led her through the crowd, then away from them without a soul noticing. "Are you excited?" he asked.

"Are you?" Sydney countered.

He smiled at her as he dug a key out of his pocket. The bleachers had been closed off underneath – too many kids causing problems during the games. The back of the stands were solid all the way down so nobody could see them from behind and the way the bleachers were designed, they could see up into the crowd a little, but it didn't work the opposite way. He led her toward the middle before he grabbed her, kissing her intensely. If this was the last man on earth she ever kissed, she'd be fine with it.

Unable to help herself, Sydney moaned against his cheek. "I want you, Nathan."

"That's right, baby." He unzipped her hoodie and lifted her t-shirt up, exposing her stomach, flat and still showing a trace of a tan from the summer. He stooped and licked her flesh. "Nice to see a little more of you." He continued to lift her shirt, her lilac bra coming into view, her breasts pressed together and far too enticing. "You're so fucking perfect, aren't you?"

Sydney laughed. "Hardly."

"Yes you are…so soft…" He reached up under the back of her shirt, unhooking the garment keeping him from more of her skin. He pushed her bra out of the way and latched onto a nipple, sucking and nipping at the same time. Sydney yelped and he smiled around her breast. He moved to the other, his fingers rolling the previously teased nipple between them. "Mmm…"

Sydney whimpered when he pulled away all contact. "Teasing?" she asked, nearly pained.

"Maybe a little…but, baby, it'll be well worth it." He turned her around and ran his hands down her arms, making sure he pressed his erection to her backside as he did so. "Do you feel it, baby? How hard I am for you?"

"Y…yes." She didn't care if she was fired for this, she knew it would be worth it. She loved the control he took – enough to be sexy, but never enough to frighten.

He kept his hands on her arms and raised them above her head. "Hold on here, hm?" he instructed. Her hands found a metal support that gave her enough slack to keep her elbows bent…and her stomach rolled with want.

"I'm making a mess," she whispered.

"Good." He moved his hands back to her freed breasts, massaging gently. A content noise left her mouth and he chuckled. "Enjoy baby, it's gonna get rough."

"Good," she said, mimicking him, wanting it.

He undid her jeans and slid them down her legs. He could see the color difference in her panties. "You want it so fucking much…you have no idea what a turn on that is…I'm going to…" He growled into the back of her neck. "…but I have to taste you before the curiosity kills me."

"Nathan, I…Christ…" Tears sprung to her eyes as her panties fell to her ankles and Nathan's tongue wasted no time wriggling its way inside her.

"Mmm…" He hummed into her and her body felt electrified. He pulled back for air and looked up at her, his mouth glazed. "Even better than I thought." He licked her folds, making her writhe and he had to still her hips as best he could. "I'm not done yet." His hands moved to her backside as his tongue sunk back within her. There was no other way to describe what he was doing…literally fucking her with his mouth, just as he'd promised. She cried out, her voice blending into the stands above, nobody the wiser. He fingered at her clit until she came for him, whimpering his name.

He rose to his feet and wiped around his mouth – she had made quite the mess of him. He put his hands on her face and kissed her, making her taste herself. It was something she'd never done before and she was loving every moment of it. "Not since college?" she asked, breathy.

He shook his head. "No, and I love it, so get used to it." He winked at her, then took in her blushing body. "Not completely naked, but…"

"How fair is this? I still haven't seen you…"

He unzipped his pants and his erection sprang free. He stroked it in front of her, knowing how much she had liked watching on Monday. "That'll change, Sydney…we're so…limited this way." She licked her lips as she watched him and without any warning, fell her to knees. She gently grabbed his shaft, suckling the tip, needing to taste him. "Oh…fucking…fuck…" His hips thrust and she took him further into her mouth. "Bad…such a bad…oh Christ that feels…Syd…" He gently pushed her shoulders back, then helped her to her feet. "I need to fuck you…now."

Sydney resumed her earlier position, knowing it was what Nathan wanted, grabbing the support above him. She heard him tear open a packet and a moment later, he slid inside her from behind with ease. "Ahhhh!" As she screamed, Western Summit scored a touchdown.

"Oh, Syd…" he cried, thrusting his hips slowly at first, his hands on her breasts. "You're a dirty little thing. We both seem a bit skilled at that, huh?"

"I think we should try it at the same time," she panted.

"My thoughts exactly." He licked her ear. "Now…" He picked up his pace a little, then gradually increased it until Sydney's vision became blurred. He took one of her arms from above her head. "Touch yourself…touch me."

She did as he asked, happy to obey. She ran small circles over her clit, coming for him instantly. She then cupped his balls, squeezing lightly. "Like this?" she asked.

He grabbed her hips and began to slam into her with a force she didn't fathom he could have and she began to tighten again. "Yes, baby, fuck yes!" She came and he spilled as well, his own hand going to her sex and stroking her down from her high. They didn't say a word for a few moments.

"I think you're worse than drugs," Sydney rasped, redressing.

"Why?" he asked, tightening his belt.

"I want more already."

He pulled her to his body, enjoying the glow in her cheeks, loving that he caused it. "There is so much I want to do to you."

"My house," she said casually. "Tomorrow night."

"What?"

"Well, you have a daughter at yours…I have a gay best friend at mine who knows all about what we're doing…"

"You _**told**_ someone?" He was angry.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Nobody from here, Nathan. You couldn't wrap your head around our relationship, he's not going to say a word, but my point was that he's going to be an hour away until Sunday evening. My house is open…" She kissed him, feeling desperate for his lips. "…and my bed has heard your name so much this week, I think it's time you were introduced."

His anger gone, Nathan smiled. "Going to let me into your bed so soon?"

"I'm not a motel kind of girl…afraid to fuck in my bed?"

He kissed her with that force that made her toes curl. "Might tie you up with your sheets."

"Please do."


	6. This Has to Stop

_**Author's Note: So, it's pretty obvious by now that this version of Nathan and Sydney's world is a bit more intense and sexual…Any objections?**_

Sydney's house was spotless, her sheets crisp and clean…and she was alone. Six o'clock came and went and she refused to call him. They weren't in a relationship; they simply scheduled sex for the evening. If Nathan had changed his mind, or forgotten, she didn't have the right to be upset or hurt. Though had she known the evening was going to end up this way, she would have gone out of town with Arlen.

She felt a bit foolish, having cleaned up both her home…and herself. Thinking they'd be seeing each other "properly" for the first time, she took far too much time getting ready for the evening. She used shaving cream rather than plain water on her legs…and other areas…and body wash and lotion that made her smell like coconut frosting. Aside from taking fifteen minutes to pick her unmentionables, she played with her makeup to create a dewy, innocent look and fixed her hair into a purposely messy, sexy up do. Nathan had already learned how much Sydney loved having attention paid to her neck, so it was her way of telling him to keep paying attention to it. Still wanting to show him they were casual, she slipped on gray yoga pants and a gray and yellow top that hung off one shoulder. She liked the contrast of her purple bra strap playing peek-a-boo, so she let it be. Then…she waited. Once eight o'clock hit, she ordered a pizza (at least she'd look alluring to the delivery guy) and opened a bottle of wine while she waited for her food.

The delivery guy did, indeed, look at her in a very improper manner and Sydney hated that she enjoyed the lewd attention. She tipped him well and sent him on his way. She had only taken a bite from her freshly delivered dinner when her doorbell rang. Rethinking – and regretting – her enjoyment of the young man's stare, she looked through the beveled glass of the door and saw…Nathan. Her brain shouted at her not to open it; that while they might not be in a relationship, it was still shitty of him to leave her waiting, but her body didn't listen and her fingers unlocked the door.

"Nathan," she said, flatly…until she saw his eyes. Red-rimmed and raw they reflected more damage than she'd ever seen on another human being's face. Her head tilted and her tone changed. "Nathan?" She could see he wanted to say something, but nothing left his lips. "Come in." She moved aside and he stepped through her threshold, his shoulders noticeably relaxing. The first thing she thought of was Susan and she couldn't stop her concern. "Something with Susan?"

"Her mother," he mumbled, his hand running through his messy hair. He walked aimlessly, Sydney following. "Wasn' even going to come, but…" He found the kitchen, the open bottle of wine, and the glass that was to be his earlier in the evening. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow in desperation.

She waved her hand. "Yeah, of course."

Nathan poured the red liquid and three large gulps later it was gone. He then sniffed at the air. "Villa D's?" he asked.

"May as well grab the bottle and follow me." There was no hesitation as he grabbed the bottle and let her lead him to the living room. The pizza box was on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry," he said, knowing the tension he'd brought with him.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not!" he yelled, wincing after he'd done so. His lower lip trembled and Sydney found herself wanting to hold him. She fought the urge and ran her thumb over the back of his hand instead. "I'm sorry," he repeated, whispering. He looked at the box again, hating that he was now imposing.

Understanding, Sydney opened the box and grabbed the piece she'd taken a bite of. "Six cheese," she said encouragingly. "Comfort food." They ate and drank, the only noise in the room coming from the train wreck of a Lifetime movie Sydney started to watch earlier. She studied him when she could. His clothes were a mess that matched his hair, he hadn't shaved, and he looked…worn. This time last week, he had looked broken, not demolished, but during the week at school he had been polished and somehow more youthful. The first bottle of wine gone and unable to take their silence anymore, Sydney finally spoke. "You can talk to me, you know."

"Can I?" he asked sarcastically. "Can I lay all of my problems at the feet of the woman I so desperately wanted to…" His breath hitched. "I'm a pathetic asshole and I have no idea why I'm here right now." He then finally _saw_ her for the first time that night. He swallowed hard and wished his glass wasn't empty. "Amazing," he said, shaking his head. "And I've no idea how the hell we ever…"

"Why don't we just put all that aside for a little bit, hm? You mentor me at school, let me help you now."

"I…I can't." He looked down at his hands. "Syd…we…this has to stop."

"What?"

He couldn't look at her. "I told my ex I was seeing someone. She literally barged into my house, set off the alarm and started screaming about Susan having sex…I told her I knew, that we talked about it, and it turned into two hours of…shit." He didn't want to burden Sydney with any of this, but he couldn't stop. "When she told me I wasn't fit to talk to _my_ daughter about _that_ topic, I just…I embellished a little, lied a bit, but pretty much recounted what we did over the last few days."

"Oh," Sydney said, her eyes wide. "Did that…help?"

Nathan laughed, the sound acidic. "Help? She didn't believe a word of it and threatened to take Susan from me! Susan _chose_ to stay with me! I don't know why, exactly, but she's almost an adult and the judge let _her_ choose!" He started to cry and Sydney let her earlier instincts take over. She pulled him into her arms and stroked his back.

"Oh…" She almost said "baby." "…Nathan. I'm guessing Susan wasn't home?"

He shook his head. "Went shopping then spending the night at…shit. Sydney…" He wanted, _needed_, to stop this.

"I promise, it's okay." She held him tighter and she felt his body loosen. His arms wrapped around her and his head relaxed against her chest. He sobbed, embarrassed and vulnerable. Sydney's heart broke.

"I fuck up everything I touch," he said, more to himself than Sydney. He wasn't sure how, but his head was in her lap now, her pants wet with his tears. "My marriage failed, fired from my job, my daughter hates me more often than not…"

"I don't believe that…"

"You don't know me…"

"Nathan, I…"

"I'm a full fledged alcoholic, Sydney," he said, sitting up. "And I don't fucking care enough about my life to do anything about it! I lied more than once, said I had it under control, but I don't! I can't control it and I don't want to! I want to forget shit, I want to be numb!" His entire body heaved. "I've wanted to die, do you have any idea what that's like?"

"No," she said honestly, not a trace of fear or judgment in her voice. "I imagine it's not a good feeling though."

"Why aren't you kicking me out? Why aren't you cutting me down and…"

Sydney stroked his face, calming him. "Why should I?"

"Because of what I just told you."

"You wanted to die, you didn't do it. You drink, so what? My ex was hooked on morphine in med school and, trust me, that wasn't pretty. You can't shock me, I've seen too much. I've been surrounded by drama almost my whole life."

"So…"

Sydney put her hands on both of his cheeks. "Stop looking for someone else to add to your pile of shit. We said no strings, remember? I'm not going to hold anything against you." She leaned in and kissed him chastely. "But I will _never_ turn you away if you need someone to talk to."

"How fucked up is it that I want you right now?"

Sydney smiled. "About as fucked up as my wanting to give myself to you is."

His lips gravitated to her neck, sucking and gently biting. "I need to be inside you," he confessed.

She rose from the couch and took his hand. "C'mon baby," she cooed. "Let's make you feel a little better, hm?"

"I don't think I'm going to be gentle." He ran his hand along her backside as they went up the stairs.

"Oh, Nathan, you promised to tie me up with my own sheets, remember?"

"You're…"

Sydney let him pass through the doorway to her bedroom first, then closed the door behind her. "I know." She licked her lips, not understanding why she was so turned on…and not fully caring. She only looked away for a second, but Nathan took that opportunity to grab her and push her against the door, his tongue coaxing her lips open. She groaned into his mouth.

"Promise me you'll tell me if I need to stop," he panted. "If I…"

"Promise," she said, not wanting him to think. "House is empty, baby, make me scream." Clothing quickly flew from bodies, but Nathan paused before removing her bra and panties. "Something wrong?"

"You truly _are_ gorgeous," he said, hunger raging in his eyes. "I haven't been able to properly appreciate that." His eyes roamed her body and she blushed. "Don't be shy, honey," he whispered. "I've never wanted something so badly in my life." His boxers were tented. "See what you do?"

She smiled. "I love what I can do." She licked her lips and pressed her body to his, grinding against his erection. "My toy just doesn't compare to that," she added, winking at him.

"One day I'd like to see that," he said, hooking his fingers into her waistband. "I bet you look so hot getting yourself off…"

She blushed deeper. "Nathan!"

"That's not denial." He kissed her, hard, and they fell onto the bed. He moved against her, teasing her, making her whine for him. "Tell me." He needed to hear it, to feel wanted.

"I want you, baby."

"Why?"

"You're the best I've ever had and I want more. I need you to fill me…to fuck me."

He grinned and his eyes darkened. He unhooked her bra and began to lick her breasts and bite her nipples. He was testing the waters. The three times they'd been together it had to be so quick, but not now. He wanted this to go on for hours and he wanted it rough, messy, and memorable. She might change her mind about him in the morning. He pinned her arms above her head and she struggled against him, enjoying the feeling. He rolled his hips into her, keeping a firm grip on her wrists and never taking his eyes off of hers. She wriggled again and he loosened his grip.

"I'm sorry, I…"

Sydney shook her head. "No, no, I thought we were being a little rough, right?"

"I don't want to make you freak out or…" Doubt crept into his eyes, something that hadn't shown itself at all since he took her against the wall a week ago. "I don't want you to think I'm…"

Sydney's eyes softened and she craned her neck to kiss him softly. When he brought his head down closer to hers, she whispered three simple, but very powerful words in his ear. "I trust you."

"You don't really know me."

She closed her eyes and relaxed her body, puzzling him. "I know enough, Nathan." She kissed his neck, her teeth lightly grazing his skin, both tickling and further arousing him. "Whatever you want, baby…take it."

His hand reacted faster than his mind and he tugged at the sheet, now pinning her body against the mattress with his own. His skin was warming and she loved the feeling of his flesh pressed to hers. After a few frustrating moments, Nathan freed the sheet and began to bind her wrists together. She smiled, happy that he was taking control. She had never let a man take her this way before, but had always fantasized about it. Even her ex-fiancé, who had begged for this sort of play in the bedroom never had her permission, she always feared he would take it to an extreme…but Nathan… There was something about him she couldn't place. She truly _did_ trust him for reasons unknown.

The sheet was secured to the headboard and Nathan was becoming more familiar with her body. His mouth explored her skin and she adored the attention. His lips were on her abdomen, just below her navel, when his fingers neared her sex. He heard her breath catch, but he stayed silent. He felt her pull on the sheet and glanced up at her; she was still smiling, enjoying every moment. Two fingers just barely skimming along her folds made her softly cry out…no words, just sounds of want. Nathan reveled in the control he had and kissed his way down to her core.

"Is this the night you wanted?" he asked, finally breaking his silence.

"Yes." The word was a drawn out sigh.

There was no warning, no delicacy as his fingers spread her folds and his tongue slid inside her. He meant it when he said he loved this particular act. Having been denied for so many years, he was greedy and almost cruel. His tongue and fingers worked her into a frenzy a half dozen times before he finally let her body find the release it wanted, Sydney screaming his name as her hips all but convulsed against the mattress.

Nathan rose onto his knees and made Sydney watch as he sucked her taste from his fingers. "You took extra care tonight, didn't you?" he asked, not a trace of innocence in his voice. "So fucking soft, baby…"

"I want to touch you," she begged, now truly struggling against the sheet. "I _need_ to taste you."

He crawled to her side, once again kneeling, and stroked himself. "You mean this?" He moaned, enjoying his self-torture. She licked her lips in response. "You want to suck me off, Syd?"

"Y-yes…" Her back arched and her body ached.

"I thought about that," he whispered, his lips next to her ear, his breath hot. "While my tongue was inside you…I thought about your lips wrapped around me, your teeth just grazing the tip like last night…" She whined, still struggling, but only making the sheets pull tighter. She loved every filthy moment of this. "…but then I thought about burying myself so deep inside of you…of making your body helplessly clench around me…of how good it feels when we make one another…" He kissed her, fighting her tongue for dominance…he won, but she was happy to lose. "So, not right now, baby." His fingers roamed her body, his touch light and electric. "Question right now is, how?"

She smiled again. "However you want, but…"

He raised an eyebrow. "There's a but?"

She blushed, slightly embarrassed. "Keep me tied up." Her voice was hardly audible. Nathan actually thought he misheard.

"Hm?"

"Don't untie me," she said with more confidence.

Nathan inspected the sheet, knowing that it had grown tighter. It wasn't the proper material to hurt her, he understood that, but checked all the same. He suckled at each of her fingertips. All were warm and she was fine, albeit even more frustrated once he'd finished. "Wicked little thing," he purred, kissing her lips, then her throat. "Likes being all tied up…giving her body…"

"To you," she said quickly. "Nobody else has ever…" Too much, too personal…but also, too late.

Somehow understanding, he only added, "My first time too…" He went back to her breasts with long strokes of his tongue, then blew across her flesh making her nipples painfully hard. She loved this feeling as well. "…and it's incredible."

"Fuck me," she rasped, unable to stand being so close to him anymore. "Baby, please."

"So soon?" he asked, though he wanted it just as much. She nodded, her eyes closed and her lips full. No woman had ever begged for him before and he couldn't help the pleasure he felt. "Condom?"

"Top drawer," she answered, glancing over at her nightstand.

Nathan opened the drawer and smiled. Protection was there, but it was placed near the other "Nathan" and he had a feeling it was staged that way. "Wanted me to see, hm?"

She smiled differently, a hint of mischief on her face. "A little something added to think about."

"Naughty," he chuckled. He sheathed himself and looked at her for a moment, needing to know she was sure of what she wanted. She winked at him and slid into her with ease. He pressed his body flat against hers, unmoving. Kissing her, he let his hips slowly begin to rock. "Naked bodies sliding along one another," he whispered, recalling his words from Monday. "Slick…uhn…so good…" He was taking his time, something they hadn't had the luxury of in any of their semi public trysts. He was feeling her body respond to his, enjoying every little twitch of a muscle along with each heated sigh leaving both sets of lips…and he stopped. It was only a moment of hesitation, but they both understood what had started to happen and Nathan quickly set out to right the situation. He pulled his body away just enough and began to pump at a far more intense pace. Former thoughts fading into the background, both he and Sydney grunted and moaned together as he brought her to an intense climax.

Sydney pulled against the sheets, wanting to touch him, to rake her nails along his back and nip at his shoulders, but the feeling of constraint only added to her pleasure and she settled for wrapping her legs around his waist instead. Nathan voiced his approval as she forced him deeper within her, his movements becoming erratic and more intense. "Tighter," he panted, his body returning to hers. She felt his heart pounding against his chest and tightened her legs. "Not there," he teased, taking her earlobe between his teeth. "Oh fuck…" Her body had taken his cue and she cried out his name once more, her head spinning. Nathan closed his eyes and wrapped his arms under her body as he came, her name leaving his lips in a far more hushed tone. Without a word, he reached up and untied her hands, kissing her wrists as he did so, still linked to her body.

"Nathan?"

"Intermission, baby…show's not over."


	7. The After

Sydney went downstairs to get a glass of water, her former binding wrapped around her body. She could still feel herself tingling and couldn't wait to get back upstairs. Never in her life had she ever felt anything as intense as she had with Nathan. The bullshit being cut out of everything just made it…refreshing. Although, the thought of him sprawled, naked, across her bed right now certainly didn't hurt either. She felt herself blushing as she hurried back up the stairs and down the hall. However, when she reached her room, her glow started to fade. Nathan had fallen asleep. She wasn't mad, how could she be? He emotionally exhausted himself before physically making her feel better than any other man had. Still, he _had_ said it was only intermission. She smiled to herself. After a long drink, she placed the glass on her nightstand and her eyes devoured Nathan's naked form.

She crept onto the bed, careful not to wake him. Testing something, she kissed his abdomen, her tongue lingering on his muscles. He let out a soft moan, but he was still asleep. She smiled again, moving lower. Even flaccid, he was impressive and the sight was just too inviting to her. She licked her lips, then very slowly worked her tongue along the soft flesh. He twitched, once again moaning, and hardened just slightly. That was enough for her and she took him into her mouth knowing full well she was going to work him back to his previous state. She found it somewhat odd that she enjoyed his taste so much and couldn't understand its uniqueness…but it certainly made for a pleasurable time for her. His moans increased as he hardened completely and she took every inch of him into her mouth before freeing him again.

"Sydney…" It was soft, but unmistakably her name. She peeked up at him and he was defiantly still asleep. She was flattered. When she engulfed him again, his body jolted. He was awake now. "Fuuuuck…" The word was drawn out, his voice tired, and she found it slightly adorable. His hips pumped up toward her and his hands clutched above him at the pillow. "Feels so good, baby," he groaned. A few more words she didn't understand passed his lips before he sat up and gently pushed her off of him.

"Not enjoying?" she asked, a little confused.

"Enjoying too much," he purred, " but I promised you more." He went back to her nightstand before pulling her to the edge of the bed. "I didn't mean for that to happen," he said, kissing her neck as he positioned her body. "It's been an intense night." He stood in front of her, smirking.

"You don't have to apologize," Sydney gasped as her legs were pulled up over his shoulders. He plunged into her body and she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Beg to differ," he grunted. "Think this could make up for it though, hm?" His hands slid under her backside, pulling her to him as he thrust. She was seeing stars and couldn't answer him. "Gonna…uh…take that…fuck…as a…oh, Sydney…yes!" The look of sheer pleasure on his face made her melt. He was a sexual creature, there was no doubt in her mind, and she couldn't believe she was the one lucky enough to awaken him.

"Nathan!" His name came out of her as a guttural moan and she all but seized around him as she came. He continued to pump into her, ruthless, until he too succumbed to absolute pleasure. "Oh, Christ, baby, come here…" She brought her legs down off his shoulders and pulled his body down to hers. She kissed him, so hungry for every little bit of him and he reciprocated with the same amount of hunger. "I might regret saying this," she said, panting, "but as far as I'm concerned you're the patron saint of fucking."

He laughed, the sound genuine and full, as he rolled them onto their sides. He spooned Sydney wrapping his arms around her, feeling her heart beating as rapidly as his own. He kissed the back of her neck, warm and salty. "You give me too much credit." His lips moved to her shoulder. "If people aren't physically compatible, I don't think this can happen." He pulled her closer and grabbed the now rumpled sheet to cover them as best he could without moving. "Syd?" His voice had changed.

"Hm?" She was getting sleepy and far too comfortable.

"I'm sorry about earlier tonight. When I got here, I mean, not when I fucking fell asleep."

"Please don't be sorry and stop worrying about it." She shifted a little, their bodies fitting together perfectly.

"Thank you," he whispered, and she knew he still felt a little shame.

She laced her fingers with his and kissed the back of his hand. "I told you, Nathan, I'm here for you. I'm your friend."

"Amongst other things," he chuckled. "I'm, uh…well, you seem pretty comfortable."

She smiled, happy he couldn't see her face. "I am…and bit too worn out to move I think."

"So…what's our stance on this?"

"On what?" she asked, pretending not to understand. She knew he wanted to stay. He'd had a horrible night before he got to her and, truth be told, she wanted him there. She didn't want to think of just how drunk he could get if he went home alone.

"_This_," he repeated. "The…after."

"You're tired, yes?"

"Yes." He kissed her shoulder again. "And maybe not quite ready to be done with you."

"Oh, well…then I think it's safe for us to rest here for a while. Being that we're both comfy and all."

"Just a bit though, right?"

"Oh, of course," she lied. She knew they both had the understanding that he was spending the night. She craned her neck, surprised to meet his face as soon as she did…he was already thinking the same thing. They kissed once more, and it lingered a little longer than it probably should have.

"Night, Syd, but, you know, just for a little while."

"Goodnight, Nathan." She yawned and cuddled back into him fully. Both were asleep within moments.


	8. Interruptions and Diversions

_Author's Note: A bit rough and not really proofread, as I'm feeling lazy and I don't think anyone's reading anyway…_

"Oh…right there…mmm…so good…" Sydney's voice echoed against the tiled shower wall, relaxed.

"Like that, hm?" Nathan was running a loofah along her lower back.

Sydney giggled, reaching behind her to caress Nathan's face. "Are we breaking our own rules?"

Nathan nipped the side of her neck. "We've been going at one another for…what day is it?"

Her giggle turned into a full-fledged laugh. "Still Sunday. You only got here last night."

"And what a night and morning it's been…"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Nathan, it's somewhere around four in the afternoon."

Nathan turned Sydney to face him and gently took her into his arms…before pushing her against the wall of the shower. "Want me again before six?"

"Fuck yes…" The words left her mouth before she could process them.

"Insatiable…"

"Sydney! I can't do it anymore!" Arlen's voice boomed into the bathroom, panicked. "He just…he pushes every button I have and…" He pushed the shower curtain aside, and his teary eyes went wide. "Holy shit! Honey, I…"

"Fuck!" Nathan yelped, not understanding what was going on.

"Oh God," Sydney groaned, her face instantly red.

Arlen backed up. "Leaving now…keep sudsing, kids…" He left the bathroom, swearing as he went to his bedroom.

Nathan looked at Sydney. "The best friend?" Sydney nodded. "The one who isn't going to say anything?" She nodded again, biting at her lower lip in frustration and a little bit of fear; she was scared that Nathan would never come back. "So…we basically can come and go as we please here?" Sydney's face began to change and she nodded in response. "Well…we'd better make sure he's okay…and I suppose you should introduce me properly since he just saw…"

"Every last perfect inch of your body?" she asked, relieved.

He ran his hand along her hip. "Yeah, that."

"You sure? Once you go Arlen…"

Nathan reached for the knobs, ending the comforting stream of water that had been relaxing both of their bodies. "Positive. Besides, I need to know if the noise will bother him."

"What noise?" Sydney asked, then went red again as she understood.

"Suddenly so shy," Nathan teased, grabbing a towel from the rack just outside the shower. He wrapped it around Sydney, the act more intimate than he intended. To break the moment, he seized a drop of water from her neck, being sure to let his teeth graze her. A noise escaped her lips letting him know her thoughts were far from anything cozy.

They quickly dried and dressed. Then found Arlen who had moved downstairs to the kitchen. He had a cup of hot chocolate in his hands and a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka next to him.

Arlen's eyes were red-rimmed and watery. "I'm so sorry, Syd. There's no car in the driveway, I had no idea that…"

"Wasn't in any shape to drive last night," Nathan interrupted. "I took a cab here and, uh…hi, I'm Nathan." Nathan extended his hand and Arlen's features brightened a little.

"Arlen," he said, offering a firmer grip than Nathan anticipated. "So, you're the one who's taken all of my best friend's innocence, hm?"

Nathan laughed. "She's been telling you she's innocent, has she?"

"Well, maybe she hasn't been for years, but you've certainly reignited her…"

"She's standing right here," Sydney said, embarrassed, "and hasn't exactly been anything near innocent for quite a while."

"Well, sure, honey," Arlen said, now smiling. "But from what you've told me, you're a dirty little thing now and," his eyes went to Nathan, "I completely understand why. You're sinfully delicious, aren't you?" He took another sip of his hot chocolate. "And completely Syd's type." Sydney's eyes went wide. "Oh, Syd, he'd figure that out sooner or later."

"I'm your type?" Nathan asked, a huge grin on his face.

"Dark features, a bit professor like…and under those clothes…well, I think that makes you everyone's type now, doesn't it?"

Nathan blushed, but quickly turned back to Sydney. "Well, I think it's safe to say that you're in my wheel house too."

"Okay, Arlen," Sydney said, wanting desperately to change the subject. "What happened?"

"He found out where I was for my 'night away from David' and intruded on my brunch. My favorite of all the meals!"

Sydney frowned. "How'd he find you? You were two hours away."

"Who knows…knowing him, he might have put a tracking device on me somewhere." He sighed overdramatic. "I should have listened to you Syd, if you couldn't change him, how…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Nathan all but shouted. He looked at Sydney. "The fiancé that left you for a…Arlen's the…"

"Withholding some things, Syd?" Arlen asked. "Good way to keep things casual…until your roommate comes home early and…"

"It's okay," Sydney said, putting her hand on Arlen's shoulder, then her head. "It would have come up eventually."

"You two have a very different relationship, don't you?" Nathan asked.

"You've no idea," Arlen laughed. "Long story short, she wanted me to be happy and her ex decided he liked hardons more than…"

"Arlen!"

"Oh, it is what it is, honey. Anyway, I was convinced I could fix him and she gave me her blessing and now, two years later, I'm wishing she would have forbidden it."

Nathan began to feel a bit uncomfortable. "I'm thinking that I should probably get going…"

"Oh, no!" Arlen said, nearly tipping over his mug. "Don't end your sexcapades because of me! In fact, how about I cook us all some dinner while you two go finish up what I interrupted…"

"I really feel like I'm intruding and…"

"Please…don't go." Arlen's eyes were watering again, which confused Nathan as well as Sydney. "I know you are being casual and everything, but I would be so grateful for the distraction."

Nathan looked at Sydney, but she was the one who spoke. "Arlen is an incredible cook…he's taught me a lot over the course of our lives…"

"Lives?"

"C'mon," she continued, grabbing Nathan's hand. "We'll see how much noise he can stand." She looked at Arlen over her shoulder and winked and he mouthed the words "thank you."

One upstairs again, Sydney began to reach for Nathan's clothes, but he stopped her. "I don't think so," he laughed.

"You wanted to test his threshold…"

"And your life sounds a little more complicated than…"

"Why does that matter? We're just…we're not…"

"Syd, when I came here last night I placed everything at your feet that I thought I'd never burden you with…I just want you to know that…"

She shook her head. "I appreciate it, Nathan, I do, but it's okay. My life is…my burdens are…they're mine." She saw a stung look in Nathan's eyes and felt a brief pang of guilt. "It's just a lot of baggage…and too much embarrassment, Nathan. I don't need you to look at me differently or to want to…end our unique arrangement."

Nathan was quiet for a moment, but eventually understood what Sydney meant. Her past sounded more painful than she initially let on and he didn't want to push. "I'm sorry," he said, inching toward her, testing things. He didn't want to keep her uncomfortable by any means. "Can I make it up to you?"

"Be rough with me." Her voice was sure.

"Syd…"

"You like it and I need it." She tugged his shirt up over his head. "Pin me down and make me beg," she whispered in his ear. She smiled in relief when she felt his body react…


End file.
